she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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