Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize