I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
