i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
