i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
