one two three fourrrrnication!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
