After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
