Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize