I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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