i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
