I think im going to throw up on grandma
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
