Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
