Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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