after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
