you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Oh god it's open bar.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
