I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
