no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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