please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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