Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She bit a glass in half.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
