you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
