I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
