and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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