I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
