Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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