if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
