i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
