All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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