Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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