I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
