He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
operation have a gay friend backfired
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
