im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
