he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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