i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
