found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize