singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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