working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
