after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
