Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Randomize
