There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
