this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well most of my day revolves around power hour
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
