I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
