Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
