i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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