What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
