Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
