great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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