so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
