Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
