So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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