haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
