is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he puts the penis in happiness.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize