How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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