She's JV to your varsity
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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