I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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