Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
