Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
