we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
