I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
