when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
