I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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