my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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