wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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