beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
