you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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