u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
