Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
