I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
