I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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