you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
