Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize