worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
