Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
