The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
