we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
