i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We're too hungover to prance.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
