mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It was confusing and full of hummus
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
