I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
