More tranny stories later!
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
