omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize