Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
